Post by Patrick
I leave this post just down the road from the compound just as I'm about to leave cell service. I'm posting here to apologize for sneaking off in the night and because I couldn't look anybody in the eye while I told them that I had to leave by myself. Josh had a plan that I would go out with the convoy going to Louisiana and Alabama and then we would swing down in to Florida to look for my family, but I just couldn't do that. The mission to establish contact with these people is just too important for it to be jeopardized looking for my family, and is a dangerous precedent to set. Everyone here has family and friends that they haven't heard from or know what happened to, and we don't have the resources to look for people that may or may not be alive, there are too many that we know are alive and in need.
I know in my heart that my family is dead or undead, yet I can't rest until I know for sure. I know from my repeated request to Google that there is little to no power or internet usage in Southern Florida and none in the area that my family lived in, but I must try. The dreams of my parents being eaten alive are keeping me awake most nights.
Since I have returned from the last trip to retrieve the turbines I have been stocking away supplies for this trip and it makes me feel the thief, stealing what others have worked so hard to make or procure is heavy on my soul but hasn't stopped me. The worst is the ammo, just knowing that if any big action or zombie attack happened and that if for some reason people ran out and died as the result has me in cold sweats. But I need a chance and so must be selfish.
I'm going on a small dirt bike that David had modified the exhaust on for scout work, so it runs really quite. I'll miss the safety of being encased in steel but with fuel getting harder to find the small but quick engine will be best. Not to be flip but thanks to Jessica's leather work the holsters for my shot gun and rifle make me feel like a real cowboy.
To everyone back at the compound I'm so sorry to leave you, but I tried to wait until everyone was as safe as could be in these times. Believe me when I say that leaving that safety and your love is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's my hope that you can forgive me and understand what I do now. Please don't come after me there is to much good work to be done. I'll try to post every day if I can to let you know that I'm still alive and doing well.
Well the night is moving on and so must I, good bye for now and I hope to see you all again real soon.
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