Life is funny. The only reason that I left to find my family was because that I knew that the people that I love and care about were safe and secure. Every thing that we had sweat and bled for, to make life some what safe is all gone.
I spent the last two days out of touch and a little sorry for my self, alone, scarred, cold, and with no sleep. When I finally find a little safety and a place with power and cell service, I find that my friends are worse off than I am and betrayed as well. I don't know what to tell you, all my efforts to get in contact with any people fleeing the compound have been met with silence.
I sit here trying not to fall into despair and self pity, but it is so hard. My mind plaguing me with what if's. My righteous anger slips through my fingers being so far away and over come with worry, but I pray that it sustains my friends.
The only people that I've gotten a hold of were in Courtney's caravan to the South. They are ok and just as anxious as I am about every one back in Kentucky. Josh's brother David had to be restrained to keep him from going back, it only cost some bumps, bruises, and a few black eyes to do so. Courtney is going to push on because her mission is more important than ever now. I don't know how she does it, being able to quiet the heart and listen to your head when the blood is boiling and all you can see is red, but she can and I am amazed.
Jack's compound has been in touch with her since Josh's last post. Both have had little luck reaching any one still alive or free in Kentucky either. So we lug our heavy hearts around in our tasks, trying to ignore the tears that fight to break free while hoping against hope that our friends and loved ones will reach us soon.
The dead have found where I'm hold up but there are only a few of them out side now. I have about an hour before there are to many to get away, just enough time to let the tears win, to let out some of the grief and pain trapped inside me.