Clustered

I almost had to ask Kincaid to write another post today, because I really wanted to go out with the assault teams as they take on the big nest of zombies we found yesterday. They should be starting their attack within the next hour or so, but obviously I won't be joining them.

It's almost funny, because they want me to stay here for my safety. Seriously. Worse, after I talked to a few of the team leaders about it, I have to agree. I'm swiftly falling behind in training and experience. Basically as far as assault teams go, I'm a relic. Oh, I can defend the walls and fight like a bastard in a pinch, no doubt about that. But these people have been out fighting every other day, and training for eight hours on their off days. They've evolved new methods and techniques and become very efficient and practiced with them. I can't hang with that unless I give up everything else I do and join the assault teams full-time.

It says something about how good they're getting at their job that they only held back from hitting the swarm of nearly five hundred zombies we found yesterday because I was there with a scout team. They didn't want to risk our safety. Keep in mind we were outnumbered ten-to-one, and those crazy bastards thought those were decent odds.

The speed with which they came up with a plan of attack was mind-boggling. Less than ten minutes after getting all the reports from the various teams, the leaders had hammered out a basic strategy. I couldn't find anything to criticize in their efforts, either. They had some ideas I'd have never considered.

And some weapons I didn't know we had. For example, small canisters of pressurized ammonia. We usually use empty propane tanks for that, but they're heavy and hard to carry around in a fight. At some point recently an enterprising person found some canisters that can be filled and refilled with pressurized ammonia and water. Basically a mister with some muscle in it, but that's awesome. It allows pinpoint control of where the ammonia goes, which means we--they--can herd the zombies exactly where they want.

That's where the killing happens.

This isn't the first time I've been replaced. I mean, I've never really been the driving force in ground fighting or anything, but I've worked and led teams since New Haven was just the compound. It's just strange to know that there are people out there doing the fighting for me, and in ways I just can't compete with. It isn't bad. I don't feel depressed over it. Knowing me, I probably should.

But I just don't feel that way, which is really odd. Normally I take this kind of thing personally, but the team leaders didn't treat me like a kid or anything. They pointed out that I defend our home regularly. It's just that the assault teams are becoming more and more specialized and I would be risking everyone's safety by trying to fit in without the same training.

I'm fine with that. Which caught me off guard. I think it's because I'm really quite happy that we're finally at a place where we can specialize in things. There will be people whose main responsibility will be defenders of New Haven, out there on the walls or in the hills kicking ass and clearing out the undead. We'll have more than a handful of medical staff who have in-depth training on how to diagnose and treat patients.

I'm a generalist who has experience doing a lot of things, but because of that I can't focus on one long enough to become an expert at anything. I'm smiling as I type that. I used to have this hope that New Haven would turn into this huge community of people that can do every person's job and have all the skillsets they'd need to survive. I don't think that's feasible. I think every person should learn the basics about a lot of things, survival training included, but that idea is only good for starting over. For the simple things.

To move past where we are right now--and I'm deeply proud of what we've done in New Haven, our accomplishments go far beyond mere survival--we have to start specializing. Maybe I can learn a new skillset soon, once I'm totally redundant. I'd like to.

For bodies to grow, cells have to differentiate into muscle fibers, cardiac tissue, organs. For a complex living structure to exist long-term, this simply must happen. I think my eyes have been opened this morning.

Now, to wait for news from the teams. Full account of the assault tomorrow.