Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Cleaning House

I should mention off the bat that the UAS sent us another round of elegantly written bullshit following yesterday's post. The long and short of it is simple: all bluster and no action. We're certainly not upset that they don't plan on starting a war over their captives, but I can't help but laugh at their angry, empty words. Basically they threatened to keep any of our people found in their territory captive should they be found alone. I have to wonder exactly what they consider their territory since the entire Union is supposed to be some rogue nation, but I'm not too worried. Our folks are careful and won't stray far from safe areas.

Closer to home, New Haven participated in a sort of winter tradition. The temperature dropped below twenty last night--which is why I'm still awake at the moment--and five hundred of us took the opportunity to go out and find as many of the undead as possible. The wind was blowing, chilling their flesh even more. We've been planning it for a while now, and with the Box finally producing custom pieces of machinery and weapons, we have the means to do real damage to the local zombie population. Best to hit them when they're weakest.

There's no great strategy or mystery to it. We set up barriers the folks over at the Box made for us, a sort of extendable, spiky bike-rack looking thing, and went hunting. Most of the old school zombies were too frozen to offer much resistance as we attacked them.

The New Breed are as adaptable as always. They're slowly becoming acclimated to the cold, though they have a long way to go before they're a serious threat during winter. It's strange that so many of the old school zombies are resistant to cold down to the low thirties, high twenties, yet the New Breed seem to have persistent issues adapting to it.

Total number of nests found: eleven. Total zombies killed: 438. No casualties on our side.

I mention this both because it's the only real news around these parts to speak of, and because it illustrates a huge difference between the Union and the UAS. Our people head out there and cut down the undead like farmers threshing so much wheat. Long-range scouts report that the UAS has barely made an effort to clear out their newly settled areas. The little bit of extermination they've done has been unpracticed and badly done. All gunshots and being ill-prepared. Messy.

Just a warning to anyone who might be thinking of joining up with the UAS. They can't even handle their own zombies. Doesn't fill me with confidence that they'll be able to take care of you.


  1. The powers that be in the UAS didn’t mind me posting before to defend our government and have told me that I may continue to do so at my own discretion. They did say that they felt my efforts were useless, that people’s prejudices would blind them to such an extent that they won’t be able to see us as anything but cartoon villains. Personally I have more faith in what remains of humanity. Incidentally, it was mentioned that my defenses mean nothing because I don’t speak for or create UAS policy. I would respond that if you only want to listen to policy creators, then why are you on this blog? Josh doesn’t create New Haven policy, but his opinions are valid. My opinions and defenses are just as valid. Also, I don’t need your approval.

    I’m not going to address the kidnapping of our citizens as I’m not privy to what occurred to drive our people off course and into your territory. I’d imagine they were trying to avoid a zombie swarm. All I know is that we are not aggressors. Still, the government has been in touch with you regarding this, so there’s nothing for me to add. What I do want to say is that there’s been a lot of negative talk about our abilities to care for our people. And I know that this reflects on our plans for Farlane. It actually saddens me. We are creating something new here. Something exciting. And make no mistake, we do have the capacity, skill, and resources to follow through on this project. We are not only demonstrating that the government of this nation is not defunct but that it can take an active role in improving the lives of its citizens. Even an outlying settlement that was once filled with the sick and dying will thrive under the UAS. You may not believe this, but you will see it for yourself in the near future. With the hard-working heroes of Farlane we will raise this town up into a thriving metropolis. And make no mistake, the people of Farlane are heroes. Not only heroes that have survived this cataclysm, but they are heroes who stood up and took a moral stand and recognized the UAS as the proper and legal government. They did this even as their friends and neighbors continue to slander us. The strength of character that took is humbling and their bravery has not and will not go unrewarded. Farlane will be a thriving hub of commerce, culture, and education. And truth be told, for all the posturing, I don’t believe that everyone in this “Union” will boycott Farlane. Because even those that hate us will see that Farlane is a symbol. A clear demonstration that the time for fear has ended and that we are united underneath this great government once again. The people of Farlane will thrive, and through them, this great nation will follow and thrive as well. God bless us all.

    Oh, there was also some talk about a week ago about small dicks. In the interests of diplomacy, I will dispense with the customary, “that’s not what your mom said” joke. I will note, though, that I’ve heard people write about what they know. Also, speaking for myself, when I unzipped to piss off our walls the other day, I accidentally bludgeoned three New Breed to death. So there’s that. Good day.

    1. Just curious what constitutes a "legal government"? Does it matter that 90% of the constituency that may or may not have voted for your government are dead? Does a "legal government" follow all the rules that were previously laid out, or just the ones that are convenient? It's been long enough that I'm sure some terms are up. Were there general elections that we didn't hear about? Or is there some wiggle room with things like that... maybe things need to be done a little different now due to the circumstances at hand? And that's what we have done.

      Come back when you have a valid reason for why your "government" is more legitimate than any of ours.