Saturday, July 20, 2013

Horizons

No I'm writing from my phone again today.  Been a long time since I've had to do that, but for once it doesn't bother me. The cleanup outside is nearly done, and while there was some upset around Haven, people are mostly dealing with the attack and it's consequences.  There have been some calls to overhaul the way we deal with disaster and unplanned swarms of zombies, even a fairly large group who want to completely redesign our defenses given our new coalition. The UAS forces here are beginning the long process of integrating with the rest of Haven. Trust is thin but the fact that any exists in the first place is kind of astounding. 

Even as I watch team leaders and defense coordinators hash out the details of any new plan, my own group prepares to leave. That's why I'm writing from my phone--Jess and K took my laptop to begin organizing a running list of all the things we'll need to take with us to compare with what we'll actually be able to take.  I'm out of the game on this one.  I was told in no uncertain terms that until we leave I'm on strict light duty.  No stress, no fighting.

So I'm parked up here on the top of the house in our little homemade perch, umbrella overhead as I watch the activity around. I hear the others packing and discussing the move. I see the shifty-eyed stares between Haven citizens and the slowly migrating UAS.  The weird thing isn't the huge number of changes going on, it's the fact that I'm already in the frame of mind where I'm not gaming out the possibilities. 

The front of my kind and the back are in agreement on the facts. I know in both places that I'm leaving and the instinctive urge to examine all the consequences just isn't there. The horizon is there in front of us, and the change is getting closer. It feels like a bigger change than even The Fall, in suddenness if not in scope.  The world fell apart a little at a time and snowballed into hell.  This is different, a deliberate severing of ties.  Something new and amazing and different.

I'm already there.  It hasn't happened, but the mindset is overwhelming.  Which is why it's torture for me to sit out the planning  of it.  I need work to occupy my brain.  I need to be a part of this.  Too many years throwing myself into projects to be sedate now...

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