Saturday, August 17, 2013

Lazy Saturday

This post is by Beckley and glory be, the funk’s on me.

Haven continues to be under attack from the zombie hoards.  Despite that, everyone is pretty calm here.  I remember when hearing the moaning of the undead would make me hide in a closet for days at a time (What can I say?  The Fall had literally just happened.)  Now people just go about their daily business while moaning and growling is going on right outside the walls.

I cannot get over how efficient Haven’s zombie beaters are.  Calling them beaters just doesn’t seem right.  These guys move with precision, every twitch perfectly choreographed.  It’s freaking ballet.  They’re like the Elven army from Lord of the Rings.  I can’t help but compare it to how I’ve handled zombies in the past.  In the UAS, it was the Monty Python approach (Run away!  Run away!)  In Pittsburgh, we lured the zombies down the wall (which was easy since this was the glory days of the early Fall, before smarties or New Breed) then came out of the gates with makeshift armor and bats.  If the Haven beaters are out of Lord of the Rings, my compatriots and I were right out of Office Space.  I can still feel the adrenaline in the back of my throat whenever I see the beaters take on the hoard.  I might not be wearing football pads and swinging my bat, waiting for the gate to open and the carnage to begin, but it still feels like I am sometimes.  Haven’s protectors might be more professional than I ever could have dreamed of being, but I know they feel that too.

Other than the attacks and zombie re-killing, things are mostly quiet here.  I don’t want to come out and say that my job as UAS liaison has been easy because that would be tempting the universe to jinx me.  I’m not normally superstitious, but working in mental health you learn that the universe is weird like that.  For example, the moment you invoke the name of a trouble patient, they will suddenly present.  It sounds ridiculous, but it happens.  Likewise, I’ve worked on psych wards the day after a full moon and it is consistently hellish.  Call it coincidence, call it a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Still, it happens.  So I won’t say that my job as UAS liaison has been easy.  But I totally could.

Really, people are behaving themselves.  There are some tensions.  The UAS all tend to live in the same area of Haven, which is good in that it puts them near people who accept them and know them.  But it’s bad because it could be seen as segregation.  Still, there’s not much difficulty outside of the usual disorderly conduct.  There’s the one Havenite who gets drunk every so often and screams about killing the UAS.  You know the guy.  You’ve probably told him to shut up once or twice.  And some of the UAS seem to get off on being belligerent.  But that’s all to be expected and I suspect that it’s more an individual issue.  I’d bet money that those trouble UAS guys were always this belligerent.  And we all know that Jeremy would get drunk and scream in the middle of the night long before the UAS immigration.  No amount of punishments from the Powers That Be will change that.  Unless they find his alcohol supplier, that is.

I feel like I’m rambling, but there’s really not that much else to talk about.  Besides, rambling is kind of my thing.  Josh will tell you what’s up and occasionally waxes philosophic.  When Kincaid posts, you’re about to get reamed.  We all have our thing.  Hopefully my rambles are a cut above.  If not, Josh will no doubt post soon, same bat channel.

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