Left Behind

I said yesterday I'd been in touch with Haven and had word about the goings-on there. In general terms I'll say the place is doing well; a few more zombie incursions, one patrol in a firefight with more renegade UAS, but overall they're doing fine. That's about all I want to say about it.

Which is the rule from here on out.

I'm not categorically saying I won't talk about Haven or the rest of the Union, even the country in general. I may do that. I'm just saying you won't be getting regular updates from me about any of it. If something important happens and Beckley doesn't mention it, I might chime in.

The bottom line is that I'm out of the game. I've spent years giving you all the details on the ground, chronicling the vast changes in my own life and the lives of many other survivors. I've done everything I can to share tips and stories to help anyone and everyone, most of it couched in my position within Haven. Thing is, I'm not there any longer, and I have no desire to constantly reopen that wound by reporting second or third-hand details about a place I no longer live in.

Nor do I intend to keep much of a running commentary about our new home. Everything we're doing here--well, almost everything--has been done before. Mentioned and explained in great detail. If you're reading this then you've almost definitely done it yourself. My life isn't that interesting and to be honest I'm sort of looking forward to a bit of privacy. I still intend to write the occasional blog post here, though if I put up more than two a week I'd be shocked. I imagine I'll still do at least one a week, but the day will vary. Partly because I foresee people asking about how we're doing, part due to K's work, which may have some interesting and beneficial results, and part due to sheer boredom.

But after this month, during which I'll be winding down my posts, don't expect the sort of detailed reports you've been getting for the last three and a half years. Beckley will be posting occasionally along with me, but I want to stretch out as a writer somewhat. Maybe I'll start a book about my experiences from here on out. It would be fun to write something that isn't this blog, though I'm thankful for all the friends I've made because of it and all the people we've been able to help with it.

A memoir isn't really an option. After all, what have you been reading all this time if this isn't one? I think a book might be just the thing for me. We'll see.

Aside from the fact that I sort of feel like the move out here brings me full circle, thus making this month a good end to writing this blog as often as I have, I also worry about the future. We're safe out here, safe as we can make ourselves, but the sad fact remains we're much more at risk here than in Haven or any of the larger communities. Holding off a large force of living people would likely prove impossible. I choose to end the (almost) daily posts for all the reasons above, but also because right now we're as safe as we're going to be out on this plain. Time will only increase the chance some enemy or another will find us and end us all.

I'd much rather end this period of the blog and the frequent updates which define it while I can still do so by choice. I'd much rather force a break and a massive slowdown in my output here than keep on as I have, boring you with the same old stuff until the day comes when the posts just stop because I've been killed. Maybe I'd have bored you so much by then you wouldn't mind. Who knows?

With the exception of K's work, nothing happening here will be news to you. We'll farm and fight and live our lives in the sun and dark as we've always done. K will tinker with projects I don't fully understand and therefore can't much comment on, and maybe he'll come up with something to make our lot in life easier. Maybe not. But he's a smart guy and he should have every chance to try.

That goes for me as well. Though it isn't the main reason or even a majority, a sliver of why I want to drastically reduce my contribution to this blog is so I can be like everyone else. How much time have I spent typing while others worked? Sitting in my house while others fought? Treated alternately as a little bit of a hero when others risked far more, planned better, had more brilliant ideas? For a while, at least, I want to go about my life as someone without a hint of notoriety. People really took this blog and ran with it. I'm all for folks having a beacon of light to gather around, but I was never comfortable being the bulb.

Now I'll have the chance to just live. For once, and finally, just to go out and live.